A Succinct, Apocalyptic Story

As narrated by Patrick to SpongeBob:

Once there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died.

The End!

If only all grand-scale, epic, apocalyptic stories could be narrated like this:

• Mahabharat - 5 vs 100. Score - 5 alive, 100 dead. Fertilization gone awry, gods fooling around, arrow-bed, blind and yellow fellows. Krishna mistaken for deer. Laloo a distant descendant.
• Ramayan - 2 heads against 10 heads (on one 'deca'dent Lankan) and a hibernating giant. Score - 2 heads. Line crossed, significant monkeying, floating stones, and low fidelity. Sita happened before Gita. 
• Gita - Apocalypse covered in Mahabharat itself, but still mention-worthy. How to slay your relatives without feeling guilty about your actions and not having to worry about results.
• Bible - Jesus Christ! Sweet Moses! Several species of furry animals gathered together in an ark and dealing with a flood. Red Cross, Red Sea, and crossing of the red sea.
• Koran - This is a private blog but still not taking risks.